Discipline Of Children Produces Children Of Discipline
A child’s behavior begins to change at various stages in their life?
From as early as age 2 (the terrible twos) a child is no longer completely dependent on its parents.
- A child can move about more efficiently — run, climb, manipulate objects — but they haven’t learned safety.
He does not realize that standing on a rocking chair might mean a tumble into the corner of the coffee table.
- They have a measure of independence but no restraint.
A young child doesn’t think about consequences.
- They can now express their desires, but they haven’t learned tact.
- Limits are needed
- We live our whole life with rules and restrictions. No one can avoid them.
- A child must be trained to respect authority.
- Proverbs 22:6 – Train in the direction the child should go
This means that parents must be prepared to enforce the rules – Proverbs 29:17
- Even grownups learn to live with restrictions
- I Corinthians 6:12 – Not everything lawful is helpful
- I Corinthians 10:23 – Not everything builds a person up
- The Bible’s teaching on child discipline
- Proverbs 13:24 – Love requires discipline
- Our Father’s example – Hebrews 12:3-11
- Proverbs 23:13-14 – It will NOT harm the child and will save him from Hell.
- Proverbs 29:15 – Gives wisdom to the child and prevents embarrassment
- Rod – “a branch or scion”, a slender stick, a switch (Jeremiah 1:11; Genesis 30:37)
- When to administer
- Make sure the child understands what you are saying and is listening
- If there are distractions, have the child look you in the eyes
- Have the child acknowledge that he heard you
(1) “Yes ma’am” or “yes sir” is more than mere politeness
- Give instruction in simple words and few concepts
(1) “It’s bedtime. Pick up your toys.” (Good)
- Most two and three year olds can only grasp one step or idea at a time.
- Punish willful disobedience or negligence
- I’m not talking about true accidences.
- Punishment should be due to the child’s breaking a rule not an accident.
(1) Never punish because you had bad day.
- The punishment must hurt
- The use of a switch on the bottom or legs will not cause permentant injury – Proverbs 23:13-14
- It may hurt, but they will heal – physically and spiritually – Proverbs 20:30
- Chasten (literally blows) while there is hope of turning your child from destruction – Proverbs 19:18
- Strong enough that the child does not want a repeat
- Initially a single switch may be enough. The startlement alone is sufficent punishment
- If the child quickly repeats the wrong action, it wasn’t enough.
- It may take repeated times until the child learns you really mean what you say. Consistency is needed.
- Older children may need a more severe punishment, but by that time the need for it should be rarer.
- The punishment is between you and the child. Take him off to the side where friends cannot gloat over his punishment. Never let another child punish for you.
- The punishment must be timely, two-year-old will not associate a punishment “when Daddy gets home” with a misdeed that morning.
- They live in the now, the dealings with them must be in the now.
- Defiance must not be rewarded
- you can often see it in their eyes. The look of “I dare you”.
(3) He is testing the limits.
- Don’t give in just because little Johny is more stubborn than you are.
- Don’t give in because it is not a convenient time, such as store or restaurant.
- You will teach them to wait for an audience to defy you.
- Given today’s anti-disciplinary views, you may have to use a single swat or take the child home to correct.
- Religious Training
- Reverence for God and Jesus
- Respect for authority
- The concept of prayer
- The concept of worship and the need to be quiet during worship
- Wrongful actions — lying, stealing, disobeying, etc.
- Introduce the major characters of the Bible, using simple themes
- Adam & Eve – Need for doing what God said
- Cain & Abel – Caring about others
- Abraham – Trusting God
- Joseph – God’s Protection
- Moses – God’s Protection; Loyalty
- Daniel – God’s Protection
- Jesus – God’s Love
24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (early).
Proverbs 3:12 (KJV)
12 For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.
Proverbs 22:15 (KJV)
15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Proverbs 23:13-14 (KJV)
13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
Proverbs 29:15 (KJV)
15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
Proverbs 29:17 (KJV)
17 Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.